Monday, July 11, 2011

11/07/2011: A simple guide to an EU bailout

How EU countries go bust - a Simple 13-steps Guide for Asking for Bailouts:

Stage 1: Deny the problem (debt/deficit/banks - or all three) exists
Stage 2: Blame the Markets (ban short selling 'speculation' and condemn irresponsible profiteering)
Stage 3: Announce first round of cuts to purely "increase markets confidence" (no need to actually want to implement them)
Stage 4: Deny again that problem exists ("Our resolute measures - stage 3 - have resolved the problem")
Stage 5: Claim your country is not like Portugal/Greece/Ireland/Iceland
Stage 6: Announce a turnaround in the economy's prospects (or the imminent arrival of one)
Stage 7: Blame domestic 'doomsayers' for 'turnaround' being delayed
Stage 8: Announce more fake/ineffective/unimplemented austerity
Stage 9: Claim solvency for the next 6-9mo ("We are pre-funded for... months")
Stage 10: Ask Ohli "Imagineerer" Rhen / Grabosso / Lag(behind reality)arde / Frumpy von Rompuy to confirm Stages 4, 5, 6, and 9 announcements during a trip to your country
Stage 11: Send a motorcade to the airport to meet ECB/IMF team and Ask for a Bailout.

Post Bailout:
Stage 12: Blame ECB/IMF/EU/Markets/Rating Agencies for collapse of your economy
Stage 13: Repeat from Stage 4 through 10 to arrive at Bailout-2...

4 comments:

Sally Clements said...

Ah, you've gotta laugh (through the tears)

Steve From Virginia said...

Whole thing is irreverent ... and irrelevant. Greece's problem along w/ Europe's is energy which is the 'why' of the crisis in the first place.

Nobody wants to talk about it since the logic of the problem defines the solution which is to make do with a lot less.

This means Europe's (and America's, Japan's, China's, etc.) precious carz all go in the bin. All that goes along with the carz goes into the bin as well along with the 'modern military'.

Don't worry, won't happen, entire world credit system will collapse first and nobody will have anything of value to swap for crude.

It has been destiny the choice between driving a car or having something to eat. Didn't realize it was such a hard choice ...

Anonymous said...

At last a diagram that shows what the vrill mechanism was up to.

http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2010/05/02/weekinreview/02marsh.html

Fungus the Photo! said...

The whole point of the mess is to integrate Europe via the need for credit.

When the banks are sucking credit out of the economy, a supranational body will come along with salvation at a price, pre-arranged!

Then all the debt disappears in a blaze of New World Order glory! That is because democracy needs stimulus. A Russian would know that!

Russia belongs in Europe and is the ideal member. Resources, space, and old friends!

Come and join the party!